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In Focus |
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| Right priorities: Motivational book asks: What would you do if you had just one month to live? |
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| By Jordan Bartel, Times Staff Writer |
Thursday, March 06, 2008 |
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It all began with a question, one Kerry Shook had been mulling over in his own mind for some time.
At a church retreat, Shook, the senior pastor of Fellowship of The Woodlands, a nondenominational church north of Houston, and his wife Chris posed this question to staff: "If you knew you only had one month to live, how would you live your life differently?"
"Chris and I had watched so many people at the end of their lives and they would want to finally say the things they always wanted to say or do what they always waned to do," Shook said. "We began to ask ourselves, 'Why can't we do this all of the time, live our lives like we were in our last moments?' "
The Shooks encouraged the retreat participants to keep a journal during the next month, to record just how they changed by embracing mortality. Each of the participants' lives changed drastically, Shook said. Everyone had a new sense of purpose.
The results encouraged the Shooks to introduce the concept to their congregation, which averages 15,600 in weekend attendance. The popularity of the program led to them to write "One Month of Life," released last week. Subtitled "Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life" the book is less self-help than it is motivational. The central message is bold living and the book is divided into four principles: "Live Passionately," "Love Completely," "Learn Humbly" and "Leave Boldly."
Composed in thirty short chapters, one for each day of the program, the guidance, reinforced throughout by the peppering of Bible verses accurately reflecting the core concepts, "One Month to Live" asks for nothing less than a refocusing of life's priorities. The Shooks want people to move away from the go, go, go lifestyle many embrace to a life centered on speaking one's mind, establishing strong personal connections and leaving a more lasting legacy.
"For my wife and I and our family, our lives had become overcrowded," Shook said. "We felt we had to ask this drastic question. It really helped us clarify our priorities, even though it is an in-your-face question in a way. But in the end, we realized life isn't about dying. It's about living."
Of course, the concept of living life to the fullest isn't exactly new. Several recent books have promoted the concept, notably "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rich Warren, who wrote the foreword for "One Month to Live." Even popular songs have embraced the mentality, especially Tim McGraw's "Live Like You Were Dying."
Shook will admit the concept of "stop living like it doesn't matter," a slogan emblazoned on the back of the book, isn't groundbreaking.
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"We believe the principles are universal, but we certainly didn't create them," he said. "Jesus Christ knew when he had 30 days left. What's unique here has been the way the concept has been expressed."
It's been life-changing for the Shooks. Chris and Kerry recently ran a half-marathon - and finished. But one of the biggest changes has been their relationships with their four children. Shook said when his two teenage sons come home from some activity, he'll often have chili-cheese fries ready and they will all sit and talk for awhile. Now when his wife tucks their 12-year-old in bed, she'll linger for a little while. It's one chore she no longer wants to rush through.
Shook said he has heard stories from people who have embraced the "One Month to Live" concept. One man told him it has been the little changes that have made the biggest difference. The man decided one day to deliver to his 8-year-old son a McDonald's Happy Meal at school as a surprise.
The man, Shook said, became emotional when he described the impact the gesture made on the relationship between him and his son.
Some people have done bigger things, like sky diving. One woman in Shook's church applied the "One Month to Live" philosophy when she met her 22-year-old son's murderer face-to-face after he was convicted of the crime. She read a letter of outright forgiveness.
"We had no idea how this would really take off in people's lives," Shook said.
But it has. More than 400 churches across the United States have expressed interest in taking their congregations through the 30-day challenge, many aiming to kick off the campaign 30 days before Easter. It helps that the book works as something of a study guide. At the end of each chapter, questions and suggestions are posed in sections entitled "Make it Last for Life." Some samples: "Write down one risk that you believe God is calling you to take presently in your life." "If you were certain your life as you know it would end in a few weeks, what would be your biggest regret? Why?" "Spend time in prayer today for each person you would consider essential to your life."
The preponderance of religious imagery and Bible quotations makes the book seem particularly aimed toward a Christian market. But Shook said "One Month to Live" is not solely for people whose faith is central to their lives.
"The first thing I always say is we hope this reaches out to people everywhere," he said. "Even if they don't have faith, this question is one that grabs us all. It's something everyone can believe in."
Reach staff writer Jordan Bartel at 410-857-7862 or jordan.bartel@carrollcountytimes.com.
LIFE QUOTES
The following quotes analyze the significance of life, a topic addressed by the book "One Month to Live" by Kerry and Chris Shook.
"Death is more universal than life; everyone dies, but not everyone lives." - Alan Sachs
"Somebody should tell us, right at the start of your lives that we are dying. Then we might live to the limit, every minute of every day." - Pope Paul VI
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." -Helen Keller
"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there." - Erma Bombeck
"It's never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman
"The measure of a life, after all, is not its duration but its donation." - Corrie Ten Boom
"Say what you want to say when you have the feeling and the chance. My deepest regrets are the things I did not do, the opportunities missed and the things unsaid." - Capt. Jim Keller
"We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give." - Winston Churchill
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